The Commitment

I have been an occasional smoker for the most part of my teenage years and its something I'm not proud of. There were times when I wouldn't touch a cigarette for a year and then I would just smoke like I never stopped. As I never craved it like crazy and could go a long time without smoking, I never thought it was a problem, but it was. My father is a chain smoker and so is my uncle, smoking has been a part of my life since I can remember and it isn't viewed as the worst thing one can do. And there are days and weeks when I smoke like I am a regular smoker, and considering I have been "occasionally" smoking for such a long time I think I can be viewed as a regular smoker.
Recently my mother found out and she was a little disappointed, she doesn't like smokers, even though she puts up with my father, she asked me to stop and I promised. But anyone who is a smoker knows its not that easy and though I tried I still ended up smoking, granted it was less but it was still there. Especially with my papers, I take a lot of stress and I just didn't know how to not smoke.
This Sunday, I was out with friends and I decided to buy some cigarettes, as I did I felt no qualms, which I mostly do, after my confession to my mother, and I was okay with buying a whole pack.
I spent my Monday morning rereading Chicken Soup, and it made me think, I'm not a teenager anymore, I shouldn't be this stupid anymore. I had to take charge, there is so much in this world that I want to do, and yet I  think smoking is my big adventure. That is just sad, so Tuesday morning, I woke up early, took my pack of Cigarettes and my lighter, went to the front gate and took out four. I lit them up, then killed them on the wall and threw them over the wall, then I took four more and I did the same with them and then again and again, until the pack was empty.
I still have no idea why I weg\nt through all this, I could have just said lets quit and given the pack to someone who smokes (it was a pretty expensive one, Marlboro light). But I just had to and now my battle begins with myself, the temptation will be more and it would be harder, yes, it happens even if you're not a chain smoker,  and I will want to cave in every time.
Today I decided I will record this journey of mine, as I commit to never touching a cigarette again, I hope to be supported by everyone around me and I hope I can do it.

 For my mother who hates it, my father who could never kick it, and my awesome Granddad, who never touched it.